The way love and suffering have shaped my life is through my childhood. It was a difficult childhood but I learned as I watched my mother go through trials and tribulations with my father. Being raised in a home where the man ruled the house, at a very young age I witnessed my mother's love for my dad and her extreme suffering because of the way my father reciprocated that love. My mother gave so much only to get nothing in return except infidelity and shame from my father's extracurricular activities which included cheating on my mother constantly and pilfering money from the family business to spend on his mistresses.
             I remember waking up in the middle of the night finding my mother in the living room crying because my father didn't come home. She loved him so much and really believed in marriage - that no matter what, you stay married even if you are being treated unfairly. Making things worse, was the fact that my family was living in one of my grandmother's houses. My mother was not allowed to make any decision without my grandmother's approval even when it came to her own children.
             As I look back while I write this journal about love and suffering, I cannot deny the fact that the way I loved in my past relationship has a lot to do with what I've observed as a child and experienced. In my past relationship I remember loving someone so much that I was willing to endure whatever difficulties I had to face. I stayed with my boyfriend at that time even though he was not very nice to me. I was pregnant at that time and he was hardly there to help me out. He was always out and about with his friends and other women. Sometimes he wouldn't come home till the next day. I remember the tears I shed over this man, and I will never forget the hurt I felt. At that time, I was willing to suffer not only because I loved him but because of my love for my unborn child. I went through all the heartache and...