One of those no-neck monsters hit me with a hot buttered biscuit so I have to change!
Well, I! - just remarked that! - one of th' no-neck monsters messed up my lovely lace dress so I got to
cha-a-ange! I swear they've got no necks. None visible. Their fat little heads are stuck on their
fat little bodies without a bit of connection. An' it's too bad, 'cause you can't wring their necks if
they've got no necks to wring! Yep, they're monsters, all right. All no-neck people are monsters.
Hear them? Hear them screaming? I don't know where their voice boxes are located since they
don't have necks. I tell you I got so nervous at that table tonight I thought I would throw back my
head and utter a scream you could hear clear across the Arkansas border and parts of Louisiana
and Tennessee. I said to your charming sister-in-law, "Mae, honey couldn't you feed those
precious little thing at a separate table? They make such a mess and the lace cloth looks soooo
pretty..." She made enormous eyes at me and said, " Ohhhhhh, no! On Big Daddy's birthday?
Why, he would never forgive me!" Well, I want you to know, Big Daddy hadn't been at that table
two minutes with them no-neck monsters slobbering an' drooling over their food before he threw
down his fork and shouted' " Fo' God's sake, Gooper! Why don't you feed them pigs at a trough in
the kitchen?!" Well, I swear, I simply could have dii-ie-ed! -Big Daddy shares my attitude towards
Brother man and that monster of fertility Mae! As for me, well - I give him a laugh now and then
and he tolerates me. In fact, - I sometimes suspect that Big Daddy harbors a little unconscious
lech for me. Way he always drops his eyes down my body when I'm talking to him, drops his eyes
to my boobs an' licks his old chops! Ha ha! - Why are you looking at me like that? The way you
were lookin' at me just now , befo' I caught you eyein' the mirror? I don't know how...