It is 100 degrees, comma needed (-2) and I have just walked a half-mile to the concession stand at the Gautier Soccer Complex. I stand in line for five minutes with my son waiting, not so patiently, for my turn. We are so far away that my daughter's team looks like a group of ants in blue uniforms. The sweat is pouring off my forehead. I have to hurry to buy Gatorade to hand my all-star player as soon as she exits the field. Out of nowhere, steps a man that cuts me off, no commas (-2) and asks the concession worker for a cup of ice. She saw sees me standing there, no comma (-2) but ignored ignores me. However, she welcomed welcomes the inconsiderate fellow with a smile; and sold sells him the cup of ice I had been waiting to buy. Reread the last two sentences; you switched to past tense. Notice that your next sentence is back to present. You should have stayed in present all the way. I start to screamHello! Am I invisible? Whom do I have to sleep with around here to get some service?? My approach may not be the best one to take. To make an effective
             complaint, you have to remain calm and contact someone in authority, state only the facts without making personal attacks, and assert clearly the conclusion you expect. Good thesis and plan of development
             Begin by making a calm, verbal complaint to the person providing (or not providing) the service the instant the problem arises. If unable to reach a resolution with that representative, escalate the issue to upper management. Write down the date, time, and name of the representative with whom you had the initial contact. Make a note of what you expected, what the agent offered you, and why you feel this is unacceptable.
             While you should report the dispute firmly, be careful not to lose your temper. It is important not to comment on the any personal aspect of the representative you spoke with, no comma here (-2) but only on your
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